It is amazing to find that life continues, quite without regards for my personal deep sorrow.
My father passed away this past tuesday, and while it is still hard to grasp the fact that I can no longer ask him a question nor hear his voice again, I feel a deep deep grief.
There is a pain in my heart, a pain that I have never before felt
and that I sense will now be part of me always.
I find myself looking for signs from him all around me and in this regard my awareness is intensified, at the same time though, I feel myself moving around as if in a dream, lost in thoughts and memories...
Life continues.....and I managed to put together a lovely easter celebration for the children and their friend who came to take part in the egg hunt, which Kaleena had decided was to take place in the bunny corral. She and Keenan worked on cleaning up the place all week, planting greens, clearing rock and beautifying the space for the event.
We made wet felted eggs during the week, and the day before easter sunday we dyed, painted, blew and hung eggs.
Sunday morning the children woke to the traditional beautifully decorated easter table, Kaleena's favorite part, and after a decadent breakfast I hid all the painted, woolen and chocolate eggs in the bunny coral.
Finally each child caught their favorite bunny and dressed it with a bow for the special day:)
So as I grieve, it is after all lovely to find that life goes on, and to remember that while I may not hear my fathers voice again, I can feel him in each wind gust. I can remember him when I come upon a perfectly heart shaped rock.
When a bird comes surprisingly close I can feel his presence. When I sit in stillness and when life gets extremely loud I can remember his strength, his appreciation of all that this life has to offer, I take a deep breath and allow his patience and his positive attitude to flow through me and so he continues to be.....