Today the cenote was crystal clear, you could see the rock walls, and how there appears to be a cavern or river straight below. Besides the crystal waters, the air was especially clear today and lend an air of
magic to everything.
Nothing like little fishes nibbling your toes.
Apparently the fishes were nibbling more on Kaleena's rock, so she invited Keenan to come try her rock.
The fishes still did not seem to nibble Keenan's toes
And finally the pull was too strong and in they went, even though the water is very chilly
Kaleena made us a beautiful little salad, with everything fresh from the garden
I started more seeds, how I enjoy to grow things...
Miguel and I have been putting a lot of love into the immediate area surrounding the raised beds
Lots and lots of rides in the wheel barrow
I have once again been made acutely aware of the sacrifice that it is
to live very far away from family I love.
My dad is once again in the hospital, and while his spirits are high, his body appears to be getting tired.
(You might remember that my dad was diagnosed, about 9 months ago, with a very advanced stage of
colon cancer that had spread to his liver)
Part of me feels in peace with whatever may happen, and still the thought of not physically
having my dad in my life, not having him be part of the children's growing years, is just too hard.
What will be will be, yet when my thoughts go to him I want them
to be thoughts of healing and health, of strength and vitality.
It makes me realize how aware I must be in order, that my thoughts do not take me directly into fear.
When my thoughts go to him I pray....and so throughout the day, as I was pulling out rocks,
amending the soil, planting seeds and seedlings,
marveling at the light or observing the children, I would pause,
see him in my minds eye, and feel peace.
It was helpful for me to bring him to mind in those moments throughout the day, when the surrounding
beauty connected me fully to the present moment.
I feel that these moments of "prayer" bring me closer to him
and it makes the distance bearable.
So while the emotions involving my dad are intense for me these days, I was able to enjoy a day of work
surrounded by nature.... and be in peace.
It was a gift.....
~Blessings~
I lit some sage for your father. Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry to hear about your dad's health, I understand how you feel, I live so far away from my parents and brother and all the people who really loved me. But now I have my own family and that keeps me strong to keep going.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the cute pictures, your children are so lucky to experience sucha nice place to live in.
Patty
oh christina... tears are in my eyes. how hard this must be for you. it's a good thing you are a strong spirit because your prayers are helping him and you. i will pray too. big virtual hug to you - i hope you continue to stay aware of the beauty that surrounds you and are present for your amazing family. your dad must be very proud of you. xox
ReplyDeleteI've only just discovered your blog a few days ago. How poignant your words are to me today, as I am struggling with being on a separate continent from my mom as she suffers in the hospital. Wonderful reminder to try to bring myself to a perspective that can bring peaceful satisfaction to our lives. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your dad--how strong and brave of you to be able to go straight to prayer and not linger in fear. I struggle with the same choice of choosing to live far away from a family I care deeply about. I often wish we could just fold the map and bring everyone closer together.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, I absolutely loved the pictures (especially the flip into the water!)--a very welcome blast of heat and light on a cloudy, cold day here.
I'll be keeping your father in my thoughts.
~In love and light~
We are told to pray always. But I don't think that has a thing to do with slapping your hands together and rolling your eyes heavenwards. Or with repeating prayerish words over and over. Or staying on your knees. I think that Heavenly Father wants to see us weaving an awareness of the beauty and complexity of life - of connections through love - of his shower of beauty, almost every second falling all around us like a heavy snow. I think that when your life is lived gracefully - awake and aware, hopeful and grateful, that is constant prayer. I could feel it in your words. If I were rich, and heaven knows I am not, I would send you home. I wish I could. I truly do.
ReplyDeleteMay you continue to find comfort in His nearness while being far from your earthly father. I know the pain of this change in life. Finding our way through it takes the encouragement of others, time to just 'be' whatever it is we need to be, and moments that remind us how blessed we are. I pray for your journey to be eased and fully supplied during this time.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you all for your kind, compassionate and inspiring words.
ReplyDeleteIt means the a lot to me; the shared tenderness across the miles...
Thank you!