Inspired by Ginny over on Small Things, I am joining in a little yarn along;
sharing what I have on my knitting needles presently, and also what book I am reading.
Now I must admit that while I love reading, these day most of my reading has to do with preparations for the lessons I do with Kaleena, we are stopping lessons now for christmas break, and perhaps that will give me time to pick up on some personal reading. One book that I have been leafing through, which I saw over on The parenting passageway, is; Hold on To your Kids, and though I have not really gotten into it, I have enjoyed the bits that I have read so far, and very much see the importance of what it speaks about.
On my knitting needles right now, is the sleeve of a sweater I am making for the doll I will give Keenan for Christmas.
Do hop over to Small Things, and see what other mama's are working on and reading, and also do share what you are creating these days.
~sweet blessings~
I am always puzzled by the world's version of parent/kid. I look at our lives and try to figure out how it was that the children and I were always the right kind of things - with me definitely in charge. The home education definitely was a contributor to this. But I think it was only symptomatic of a deeper condition: my kids were real people to me from the beginning. They weren't part of my world - they were my project. I didn't ever shunt them off. We did everything together, and everything became a teaching moment.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not saying this right. We talked constantly, and I had a strong belief that if you want a child to listen to you and talk to you when he becomes a teen, you have to listen very seriously when he is saying his first words, taking every communication seriously enough to stay with it till you understand what he is expressing. And I explained everything - the connections between things, the spiritual things, the art things, the human relationship things - from the very start. Speaking as truly for the child's age as I could.
But I'm still not saying it right.
It was a combination of working together with me as boss and playing together. Sharing our lives. No glass wall.
When I put them in high school, finally (which was only on my terms - they took only the classes that interested them, but they had to make college entrance level grades in the classes they chose - the school district had a fit, but pffff), my kids never lost our connection. When they saw me in the halls at school, as they sometimes did, they would dance right up to me, dragging friends in their wake, hug me and show delight. This is a far cry from the embarrassed resentment that puzzled them in their friends under like circumstances.
It was a game of being there (me) without intruding. I wanted to know their friends and be on first name and speaking terms with them, but I didn't want to be part of the group - a benevolent (but watchful) over-seer.
Now, they are completely independent. They do things their own ways, have tastes (aesthetically) that are foreign to me (but never unpleasant - just different), have been to countries I may never see, are experts in things I was able to introduce them to, but never became great in. I invested my heart and all my knowledge in them, and they have paid me back in showers of delight and wonder and satisfaction. And we are all still very, very good friends.
I didn't mean to write so much. I tend to do this when I'm writing about this relationship because it is, in my eyes, the most important one in the world. Thanks for letting me ramble -
That looks like a VERY good book! And I like the brown yarn, too.
ReplyDeleteI like K's comment very much.
ReplyDeleteI have teens right now (18-13, and then some). I believe that as much as its critical when they are young to be engaged and interested in what is important to them. It is VITAL to not slack off on this around ages 11-12 (for boys)..they are changing so quickly and because they so easily brush you off, it can be easy to not *see* the moments they need you and its often at night, when you are drained. I've found that if I'm sewing or knitting in the late evening hours it gives them a 'safe' moment to begin to talk and finally to open up. Once they've reached 14-16 the pattern is established and trust has been earned in a new level, they find it easier to share...not that there are not teen moments..we all miss the boat sometimes. By following this course of love thus far my husband and I have found that our voice is the one they seek, not their peers.
I deeply loved this post and your first commenter, thanks for letting me share as well.
I love both of those books, and the knitting likes the perfect way to spend the day.
ReplyDeleteI'm definately going to check out the Hold on to Your Kids! It sounds wonderful! That is going to be one lovely sweater...the yarn is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteLucky little doll!
xo maureen
Thank you for the book recomendations. It sounds wonderful. And I love the choice of yarn for the sweater.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Elizabeth
I was reading the description of the book you're reading over on amazon. I really need that right now. My husband, myself and our families are really going round and round about sending our daughter to daycare for socialization. I'm feeling guilty lately because I've kept her with me so much and wondering if I'm depriving her of normal development by spending so much time with adults. I'm really curious to see what this book has to say! Thanks for mentioning it.
ReplyDeletehey! glad you joined up for the yarn along. i have been seeing that book on parenting passageway - let us know next week if you get more into it and would recommend it. i'm curious to know. i like the look of your christopherus syllabus. when did you start your christopherus homeschooling?
ReplyDeleteAnushka,
ReplyDeleteKaleena is 7 this year, and I started with Christopherus this autumn, and I really like it...
warmly,
Christina
Interesting book and comments. The sweater looks like it'll be very forest floor in autumn-like!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful color yarns.
ReplyDelete